I wonder

I wonder how you sleep at night...

I wonder how you look at yourself in the mirror...

I wonder why you portray me as the bad guy...

I wonder how you can dislike someone, yet give them your child...

I wonder who you think you are fooling...

All of the lies that you tell yourself, and others, are translucent. The way you pretended to be so concerned about the outcome, wanting to still have contact, the way you acted like you were giving of yourself, and that you were so distraught about the situation. 

Give me a break. You have called 3 times in 3 years. I know it was because someone made you feel guilty, or asked you what happened to him. Why bother? We know you, there is no need to lie to us. We know the gifts aren’t in the mail and we know you won’t remember to call on his birthday this year. I don’t understand how you can possibly forget when you gave birth to him. 

I now realize you made a choice, long before I was ever in the picture.Your actions tell the world you never wanted him to begin with.He served his purpose at the time and then you moved on to what you thought were bigger and better things with no regard to anyone’s feelings but your own. You say you left him for his own good but we know you just wanted to be free of responsibility. You didn’t want to be burdened by your own child. You, my dear, are ridiculous. You act like I am the bad person, blame me for your actions, and go on about how you don’t like me. But you gave your child away permanently.....to ME.....me that you don’t like, me who is with him every day, takes him to practice and games, taught him to read and write, feeds him, and gives him the love he needs and deserves. LMFAO.....you got me.....I must be a horrible person. 

You are a clown. You should form a drug habit so one day when he does ask about you, you have an excuse for being a dead beat mom. As it stands now, you are just a selfish and hateful person who masquerades as a parent. 

I feel sorry for your new children.....who will pick up the pieces for them when you repeat the cycle?

You may not like me, as if I care, and the world knows I do not like you, but I do love MY son.

Must be depressing to be so unhappy because of everyone else.....but smile, HE is, and we are forever grateful for your choice!

Did you know we have a FB page? You can should us out, no really, you should Citybia

Oh, and there is this super cool place for bloggers to go and make friends and get exposure. You should go there too! Lovelinks

Truth as I see it

Some truths...

It is ok to...want to punch someone in the face really really badly...now should you go around doing so? Probably not. That would open a can of worms you may not have anticipated, such as; getting your ass kicked or possibly assault charges...neither would be good. But I understand feeling mad at that annoying mom with 4 kids running wild, the lady at the register that won’t STFU and do her job, or that kid that picks on your child (yeah, kids aren’t exempt. Sorry) and REALLY, I mean REALLY wishing you could just bust them in the eye.

make mistakes...Every one does. Learn from it and move on!

want what you don’t have...That is what makes you excel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, be happy with what you have and all that sweet crap BUT sometimes, if you really want what the Jones have, you will work harder to get it.

come up above those around you...Don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for being better than them. And yes, some people are better than others. You can pretend everyone is equal but IMO that is bullshit. Some people want more and do what needs to be done to get it. Some people put forth no effort to better their lives but sit and bitch about how rough they have it. Boo fucking hoo! Don’t get pissed at me because me and mine have goals and make moves to bring them to fruition.

want your kids to leave you alone for 10 fucking seconds...I love my kids, but sometimes it would be nice to not have to be on 16 hours out of the day. Feeding, dressing, burping, answering questions. The only time I have peace is when I sleep and even that is interrupted to go check on the baby through out the night. Know what would be nice to do for 16 hours a day??? Talk to a grown person and drink lots of yummy wine! OHHH or go dancing! I love to shake my ass to some booty music ;)

really dislike your family...I mean REALLY not like them. I mean like wish that you knew a hit man and take their asses out not like them. Some people, no matter how hard you try, or how much you want things to be right, just aren’t worth your time. They won’t change, still make the same excuses, and stand by the same old lies. No amount of you praying, wishing, or hoping is going to change them. My FIN told me, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other. See which one fills up faster." So very true! Let them go. Some people, family or not, are toxic. 

lie...We were all taught that lying is wrong, and it is. However, there are times when it is necessary to keep the peace or to just be a nice person. Kid comes home with the most retarded ass drawing you have ever seen. You have no idea what it is, do you A) tell said child, “Child, WTF is this crap? Did you draw it or did some handicapped kid draw it?” OR B) “Nice job! I can see you worked hard on this.” Hmmm? Hmmmm...see you lie too! Or you have a friend who comes to you with relationship problems (my recommendation, first and foremost, is to stay out of it!!!) do you say A) “Are you stupid? Those are definitely signs that he is out tappin’ someone else’s ass!” (because he totally is! Not coming home all night, not where he is supposed to be, etc.,etc.) No one wants to hear the truth, even if they ask. They don’t. If you want to lose your friend then tell the truth but if you value that friendship, stay out of it!) OR B) “He would never do such a thing, you are too wonderful.” Lie, lie, lie. You are better off! This is a good one I got from a friend, she says she fakes her orgasm so the sex will end. It isn't bad sex at all she says, she just has other things she wants or feels she needs to do. Bwaaahahaha! Funny yet sad. I would much rather have an orgasm than go do a chore! But hey, whatever works. It is a lie by omission. 

So just so you know you all have my permission to feel theses ways about situations, people, etc. There is nothing wrong with any of them and if you think there is you can bite me :)

By the way you can vote for us on Lovelinks

Or visit us on FB City Bitch in the Country

Failure as a parent

Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others & wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has their own strengths & weaknesses, & it is only when you accept everything you are & aren't; that you will truly succeed.

So I found this quote on a friends page on FB this a.m. It got me thinking about what I see as my failures. I have a very idealistic image of what a mother should be. I have many friends who portray qualities I wish more than anything that I had. It makes me jealous. I compare they way they act with the way I act, what they would do in certain situations and what I do. I feel like a failure. A mother should be loving, touchy feely loving. Hugs and kisses until the kids are so annoyed at you they want to punch you in the face. A mother should be involved in everything, fun, playful, energetic, encouraging, patient...very patient, understanding, not mind “why” questions, be happy with the messes her kids make because they are learning, and never yell or lose her temper. Out of theses 10 things I think I have ummmm 3. And they aren’t any of the good ones. Which is an EPIC fail in my eyes.

I believe my ideal mother can be explained by my upbringing. I had an egg donor but not a mother. The qualities I seek are the ones I never had. My ED was minimally involved in raising me. She preferred to be out with men, drinking, or doing drugs. I was raised by my grandparents and my uncle. I knew at the ripe age of 10 that I wanted to be the exact opposite of what my ED was. I remember praying that I could be better than what she was, and do the opposite of everything she did because in my eyes I would then be a great person....

Fast forward a whole lot of years. I have 3 kids. Age 15 (going on 30), 8, and 6 months. To be completely honest with myself I think I am a horrible parent. I am NOT patient...I hate repeating things, and more than that I hate that my kids don’t listen, should know better, get yelled at, and I still have to tell them again whatever it was I had to tell them in the first place. SOOOO annoying to me. I am NOT understanding. Not at all. You forget your homework twice a week, every week since school started and I should be ok with this? I think not. I don’t care if it is only twice a week. You are 8. It has become a pattern...and to me it is lazy. You remember to bring home stupid stickers, books you don’t read, and pictures you drew while you were supposed to be doing your work BUT you don’t bring home your actual work....INFURIATES me to no end! I dislike messes. Everything has a place. Put it in its place. Then I won’t hear, “Mom, where is my __________.”(fill in the blank). “IDK where the hell your __________ is. I don’t use it. I know where it isn’t.....it isn’t where it belongs.” I am very sarcastic. I know, I know....sarcasm is for the weak minded...along with cussing. I am demanding. Probably way too demanding. Any of these traits would be bad enough but to have them all together is rough. My biggest fail is that I am not touchy feely. I am not that parent. IDK if it is because no one was that way to me, but I just am not. I want to be, I really do so very bad, But then one of the kids will do something that annoys me. Something I think they should know better, and then I just want them to leave me alone. It makes me sad. It makes me feel bad. I hate it. But I don’t know how to fix it.

I can be fun, and playful. Since I live in Bumpkinville, I have to search for something for us to do every weekend so we aren’t stuck in the house. We have fun then. And I am part of that fun. I am involved in everything - how they do homework, how they clean, when they can play outside, what they should be doing right now, sports, their friends, everything. Maybe to much so. I think I tend to micro manage. Do this, don’t do that. Put this here, clean this like that, etc. etc. BUT I am at every game and every practice. I cheer for the kids, clap, and scream their name. That is good parenting right? I also cook for them every night. And we sit together and eat dinner. Most every single night. Sometimes we chit chat, sometimes not so much, but we all sit together. That is good parenting too right? And I do love them, so much more than they will ever know. They are my everything. That's good even if they don't know it right?

I think by comparing myself to others I do myself a disservice, and possibly my children as well. I may not be a text book loving mom, but I do love my kids. I may not gush over them or shower them with kisses but I make their lunch every day because that is what they like. I may yell at them and be sarcastic when they ask a dumb question (yes, I know, there are no dumb questions) but I do kiss them every night before bed and send them off with a “have a great day, I love you,” in the morning. I think I will work on accepting me as I am and hope that it will make me a bit nicer and a bit softer....


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Please don't say these things to me...

So I have been thinking about having another baby. And in doing so I started thinking of all the ridiculous things people would say to me about how I look or personal things they would ask while making small talk. So I have complied a list of things you should not say or do in certain situations.

Let’s start off with the pregnancy:

1. By far the best was - “Oh, do they all have the same dad?” Are you fucking serious? Just because I have three children does not mean I am some kind of ho bag that sleeps around. And even if I did have 7 kids by 7 men, if I am a working productive member of society, what is it to you?
2. “I hope it comes out normal.” Again, WTF??? So do I, so does every parent for that matter. Way to freak me out and send my brain into “what-if” hyperdrive.
3. Never and I repeat never say to a pregnant woman, “You look great for the end of your term!” What happens when I am only 5 months pregnant, have 4 to go, and you just called me a fat ass. Not cool. 
4. “Your face isn’t that fat.” Seriously folks, never ever comment on a pregnant persons size, size of ANYTHING. Face, ass, boobs. And that brings us to...  
5. Oh, it must be a girl, look how wide you are.” Hoooolyyyy shit are you kidding me? Again, let me repeat, never comment on size, don’t allude, don’t imply. JUST DON”T.

Let’s continue on, my precious baby was just born and we are on our first outing. Most parents love when people ooh and aah about their new bundle of joy. However, with that being said we do not and I repeat DO NOT need your advice, and usually a simple - your child is beautiful will do.

1. This isn’t really advice, although it was my top pet peeve. Every time I heard it I cringed inside and wanted more than anything to punch you right in your damn face. “She looks just like her daddy.” Hey thanks for minimizing all I put into this pregnancy. The stretch marks, saggy boobs, nine months of uncomfortable. All for the sake of making a clone of her father.
2. “Should her head look like that?” WTH is that supposed to mean? Should your face look like that? Now I have to go home and spend tireless hours on the internet looking up head shapes to see if my kid has a tumor. As if I don’t have enough to worry about. Way to go douche!
3. This one is great too. Another “hey I am gonna stab you moment.” The baby is fussing and squirming and not happy with what you are attempting to do when a stranger walks up and says, “Would you like me to try?” Breathe, breaaaaathe. Repeat to yourself, I will not punch you in your throat, I will not punch you in your throat. Honestly, who the hell are you? You don’t know me. Why would you EVER say this to a stranger in Target? I kinda understand I look like I am struggling and you feel sorry for me or the baby, but now I feel like a failure. Thanks.
4. And one last thing. Don’t call my baby an it. She is a girl. It can be seen in the bows and pink outfits she is always wearing. If you want to know her name, ask what HER name is....NOT “What is it’s name.” Fucktard!

So my husband ends up cheating on me and we are divorced. Here is what I don’t want to hear...

1. “Maybe he will get an STD!” Thanks playa. Chances are since he was fucking some skeezer and myself at the same time, I now have this STD as well. That made me feel so much better.
2. “Well, you can always get a cat.” OMFGDESS what the hell do you expect me to do with that? Can my cat watch football with me on Sundays, or hold my hand, or most importantly - dick me down??? I think not.
3. Ahhhh and the best one, “I saw this coming.” HMMMM, do you think there may have been a better time to tell me? Like, before we were married, or when you saw something I didn’t? After the fact doesn’t do dick for me.
4. And here is one more. “Are you sure?”  This can go so many ways depending on the situation. Liiiike - “No, it wasn’t my choice.” Or, “Would I be doing it if I wasn’t sure?” And maybe, they aren’t sure and they have regrets, but it is what they felt was best at the time. DON"T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS!!! 

So maybe you aren’t an asshole, maybe you don’t know how to act in social situations, or you like to put your foot in your mouth, IDK.  BUT I do know any of these responses in any of the aforementioned situations, makes you a grade A asshole who lacks social skills and likes the taste of feet.

So do you have any to add?

*p.s. Did you know you can find us on FB? We will amuse you there as well. City Bitch in the Country. 
*p.s.s. Thanks to Erica for a brilliant idea!

Peace out bitches!

Your kids....

SUCK!!! Or should I say YOU suck???

Here is the scenario. I am in Target and there is a mother with her children at the end of the isle. One in the cart and one running around this way and that. He was a very cute boy in his little grey hat and black puffy vest, but he was obviously the devil!  The boy who is 3 maybe 4 is running up and down the isle punching the candles and glade plug-ins either back into the shelf or onto the floor, making what I assume are his idea of fighting noises as he does this. The mother is barely looking up from her texting. “Stop it. Stop it Michael,”  she repeats like eight hundred fifty four times with absolutely no authority or emotion in her voice. With as much commotion as this kid is causing I want to kick him. And then I want to punch her right in her face for not being a parent and putting him in the cart or smacking his ass. Mind you I love to text. Love it. Will do it all day long if I have some one to do it with. But if my kid is acting like a damn heathen in public I am gonna smack him on his little ass, and then return to my all important issue on the other end of my phone. The little boy was really going to town and she barely even looked up. 

Scenario two. My kid comes home from school and wants to know how to show a girl he likes her. He is eight mind you. So I tell him, well you treat her with respect and be nice to her just like you do everyone else. Not good enough for my kid. “No mom, what do IIII do? How do I show her,” the sheesh you are dumb tone coming out. That obviously wasn’t the answer he was looking for. What did he want me to say? Hold her hand, kiss her good bye? Then I was aggravated. “Boy,” I say, “you don’t DOOOO anything. You are in third grade.” (That’s right. We are having this conversation in third grade) “Your job is to pay attention and learn. You aren’t at school to be having girlfriends. You are too little for that. You go to school to LEARN,” my sheesh YOU are dumb tone shining through. ***Here’s where it gets good though. “But mom, Blake had a girlfriend since last year. But she did cheat on him once.”  “Well when you move in with Blake you can do whatever his parents find acceptable. You want me to call them?” I say.....Are you fucking kidding me? Who is raising theses kids? Do his parents not tell him he doesn’t have a girlfriend? To have a girlfriend you have to be able to GO PLACES, have money to go to these places, be able to write a note that has coherent thoughts. In my house it will be least 8th grade and even then it will be group crap, movies, mall, etc...WTF??? And how do you cheat on a 7 year old? Hold someone else's hand, sit by someone new on the bus, share your ho ho with a different boy? I mean come on people, please tell me you don’t think this is cute and are encouraging it at home.  

I am much more tolerant of stupidity in other people’s children than in my own. I taught gymnastics for 3 years and it amazed me the patience I had with these kids, knowing full well if it was my kid acting that way we would be having a rendezvous in the bathroom. Yet rarely if ever would a parent come and correct their child’s behavior. That is where I learned the plus, minus, plus rule. When I have to discuss with you your child’s behavioral problem, or how your kid is an attention hog and holding up class, or can’t listen to save his life, it always began; “Your child is very enthusiastic, we love that, but.....” After your but you child is an ass, you follow up with some made up positive. It helps to sugar coat the criticism. I recognize it in conversations with others and it makes me laugh. 

The same goes for restaurants. You want to have a nice meal but there is a baby next to you that won’t shut up. It is screaming like a banshee. I feel bad for those parents. I’m sure they want their baby to be quiet. I know when mine is upset like that I do. They obviously aren’t having the nice meal they had envisioned when they left the house. So to theses ass holes who want restaurants to be kid free...that is called a bar. Go to one or open one. You will have a lovely kid free time but don’t make bullshit ass rules because someones baby is having a rough time. It isn’t like the baby is trying to make you miserable or annoy the other patrons in the restaurant. Something is wrong with it. It’s belly hurts, it is teething, IDK but seriously?

All these liberal douche bags try to make you feel like shit for spanking your kids. You should be friends with them not punish them, they say,  and all that other stupid hippie bullshit. What has that gotten us? A bunch of kids who don’t care, don’t listen, and don’t follow rules. They expect that everything be given to them and don’t want to work for anything. Good job people. Keep up the great parenting! 

What it all boils down to is be a parent to you damn children. I can guarantee that the world isn’t gonna end if you stop texting for 5 minutes to address your unruly kid. I can also guarantee that they will have more respect for you in the long run. Smack their asses if they need it. Teach them manners and how to follow rules. Teach them to be polite and respectful. Don’t encourage them to be older than they are. They are young and care free for such a short time. Don’t rush things.  And most importantly love them like every day is your last with them.

http://lovelinks.freefringes.com/2011/10/25/lovelinks-28-open/

Your actions, parenting, celebrities, social interactions...all annoying

Things that annoy the fuck outta me right now:

When actions clearly speak differently than your words....

Do you think I am fucking stupid? Don’t tell me you want to have a relationship and then take sides over stupid bullshit without even asking me what happened. That tells me you are FULL OF SHIT. Annnd don’t tell me you are “keeping it from me for my benefit,” when you know damn well you just don't want want me to tell you how you fucked up when you were warned repeatedly. I mean come on, you fuck shit up BIG TIME, and call me bitching? WTF do you want me to do about it? You broke it, now you fix it.

When parents put their kids on leashes....

IDGAS that you connect it to a fuzzy monkey or a puppy dog. You are making your kid look stupid and you make yourself look like a lazy douche. Conversation goes like this:

 A - “S, I’m gonna buy you a leash for your kid,” hahahahaha.

L - “I will fucking stab you. Those are for lazy ass stupid parents.”  *Insert very angry face here.

N - “I used one. It taught my kid to sit, and stay. It taught him his boundaries.”

L - “WTF is he a dog?!?” *Insert you are a douche bag look here.

This was a real conversation...a real fucking stupid conversation. People please for the love of God quit having kids and being lazy derelicts. Don’t put your kid in a leash and don’t put them in a huge ass dog cage in your front yard. Don’t you know the whole neighborhood is talking about you? 

When people are famous for absolutely dick....

Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, Brody Jenner, anyone from a reality series (Big brother, 16 and Pregnant, and of those show with the people who have 854 fucking kids) SO FUCKING ANNOYING!

People in the store who respond with their life story when the cashier is just being polite...

“Hi ma’am, how is your day?”

“Well I live 45 minutes from here but it was such a nice day I decided to drive out her to pick up some things. I only do it once or twice a month. I always spend too much, even when I come with a list. Did you know there is alot going on in town today? I was thinking about going out to one of the fairs or maybe the book store. There is an author there you know”

No, IDK and I don't care. Quit looking at me and trying to engage me in this stupid ass conversation. I smiled at you what more do you want from me? You are finished checking out....move the fuck on. It is my turn now. I am all for being polite and small talk but no one wants to hear your life story. STFU and leave. Go do something outside since it is soooo nice. Go do something in town since there is soooo much going on....just get the hell out of my way.

Thank you for listening to this rave. I am sure all of you have experienced some version of these things. For that I am sorry. In a perfect world we could vote idiots to their own planet and only the best people would procreate. Alas, we have to hope that survival of the fittest works out somehow.

Diversity? Nope. Car shows? Nope. Big hair and cowboy boots a plenty...

More reasons I hate Bumpkinville....

There is no diversity. It is like going back to the 1940’s or some shit. All of the black people live on the “bad side” of town. All of the mexican people live in the trailer park on the far edge of town. Now given, I am aware some of the people choose to live where they do for financial reasons or whatever but the majority of them? I don't’ think so.  My son goes to school where there are no kids of “color” and I mean any color in his class. No black, brown, yellow, red, or polka dotted kids. It is bullshit and I hate it! How do you teach your kids about acceptance and diversity when they are raised with only white people? I don’t mind white people but I need some other people as well. People with style or people who ride rims :) People who aren't old and hoity toity or rednecks! Ooooh, people who can cook some bomb ass soul food mac n cheese....yumm!

And there are no car shows. I loooove car shows. Not those gay ass Japanese imports. That Tokyo Drift was RUH-TARDED!!! I am talking about muscle cars. Like an old Chevelle or Impala. Or an old Dodge Charger. Even better are the classic cars like the Thunderbird,  Bel Air, or Model A. Oh or a Caddy with white walls. Not to exclude the ghetto in me....I also love cars on rims, 22’s preferably, on cars with Lamborghini doors and ridiculously obnoxious paint jobs....SIIIIIIIGH! Oh how I hate it here!

You know what else I don’t like? Big hair and cowboy boots. Oh and lets not forget back boobs. Some day I will designate a whole blog to back boobs and camel toes. I don’t like them. Nope, I don’t. Not at all. I don’t like to look at people who have big hair, and I am talking circa 1980’s big hair. It makes me cringe and wonder if they look in the mirror before they leave in the morning. And cowboy boots? With everything? I mean I know we in the country but still -BLEEECH!!!!

I wanted to post some pics, but alas, I didn’t want to be obvious at my sons baseball game. So if you go to POW you will see why I am miserable. Those are they clows I am surrounded by all day every day no matter where I go.

Fake ass bustas

Today we will be visiting fake people...

First up is the douche bag in baby Gap....Tell me why you are pretending we are friends? Last time I saw you, you wanted to mean mug me and look as if you were gonna beat my ass (and you a grown man) apparently because I don’t speak to the mutual friend we had. She made her bed. Let her lie in it. Today however, you want to ask me how I have been and how our mutual friend is...how the hell should I know? I haven’t talk to the bia in two years. The more important question is are you bipolar or just retarded? Since we were never friends in the first place, and I only acknowledged you because she always talked to you. So lets just move on to the next phase of this “relationship” and do the head nod if we see each other in public...K, thanks.

Next...my “friends” on FB. Ooooh so much to say there. You know what I love about FB? Finding people you haven’t seen since high school, or friends, or family you have lost contact with but wish you hadn’t. There are actually people that I have caught up with that really make FB worth it for me. People I was separated from but shouldn’t have been. Family I haven’t seen since I was a teenager. People I love. Plus, since I live here with the Bumpkins, it is nice to get news and find out what the happenings are back home. But then there is the flip side. Seeing the ones that treated you like shit, and now are complete wastes of space or the ones who were thin and had money, so they were obviously better than you, but now they are fat ass hoosiers. I love it. It makes my day. But the best are the ones you find who go on and on about how they missed you and can’t wait to see you. So you make plans (which for me is a big deal. I live 12 hours from home. I get limited time when I am there, so when I make plans with you I am missing out on something with someone else) and then the time comes to go to lunch, or hang out, whatever. I call you and you don’t answer??? WTF??? I mean really, all that BS about wanting to meet my kids and me meet yours, all the phone calls, and then you have the nerve to not answer? You are a grade A douche. Oh but as soon as I get back to Bumpkinville you want to like my statuses and comment on my photos.....ummm can you say DELETE????

On to the next...the FB Jesus hypocrites. You know them. We all have them as “friends”. The ones that preach and put up their Bible verses. Praise God for everything in their status. Tell you to pray for what you need and God will provide and more word vomit. BUT THEN...the next post is about how much they drank or how much weed they just smoked. They post pics of themselves drunk off their asses, pics of themselves doing perverted things, and pics of themselves with blunts (not that I have a problem with drinking, smoking, or being a pervert. I like both drinking and being a pervert, at the same time,  a lot! I just don’t put it out for the world to see). Or the ones you know without a doubt are cheating on their spouse. I also like those who preach but their actions are so contrary to everything they say. Are you kidding? I just don’t get it. Keep in mind I definitely believe in God, heaven and hell. However, I do not preach one thing and have my actions say something totally different about me. I know my flaws and my faults. I half ass work on them sometimes but pray every night before bed. Am I perfect? Not a chance but I am also definitely not a hypocrite. 

I could go on about the “frenemies” I have made here in Bumpkinville but I will save that for a day when I run into one of them and they piss me off....

Till next time, I leave you with a quote I feel pertains....

Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.  ~Homer

Various reasons that Bumpkinville sucks

It is amazing to me this country place I live. The average household income is $68,000. The price of a house - $280,000. Most people drive Volvos, Audis, or some type or huge gas guzzling SUV....not that I have a problem with the gas guzzling. I would love to have a Tahoe. They are bad ass! Especially the teal colored ones with rims! But alas, my husband won't let me, he is the sensible one. The people here, for all of their wealth, dress like hobos. Teva sandals with Indian type designs, Crocs, sweatshirts kindergarten teachers wouldn't even wear, and of course the day wouldn’t be complete without mom jeans. They is so much damn money here, so how about building a decent mall with some real stores? A Macy's, Neiman Marcus, something. Not that the Bumpkins (that is how I refer to them - Country Bumpkins) would automatically have style because there were fashionable places to shop but shit, just because I live here does not mean I want to look like a hobo too. I have standards, no mom jeans with camel toes, no sandals with jacked up toe nails, no Cosby sweaters or handmade sweatshirt with dumb ass pictures of your dogs in clothes. Sheesh people! You have money, get with the program. 

Once again so much money and nothing good to show for it. Of the three movie theaters in Bumpkinville, two have four screens apiece and smell like piss. One of them has mice. There is an upscale theatre that cost $1.50 extra to go to I guess because they clean it, but more often than not they have dumb ass hoity toity movies I don’t want to watch anyway. There is nothing to do with your kids. No zoos, science centers, nothing...well, that isn't completely true...if you wanna drive an hour and a half you can do some cool shit. But here...zilch.  

We do have a lot of restaurants here. One could say too many really, they are the same thing over and over. If I had to guess, I would say 5-10 per city block. There are lots of fat asses walking around in mom jeans and Crocs that would tell you how good the food is. For the most part, it isn’t. No Olive Garden, no Cracker Barrel, no Imo’s, Long Horn, Jack in the Box, P.F. Chang’s, or Lion’s Choice. I could go on and on but by the time I was finished I would be starving and by the time I got something decent to eat, I might die. 

So the bitch fest begins. The comparisons between living in the city and living here. This is just a bit of background for further posts so you can see why I bitch. If you don’t like it...IDGAS :) Thanks for visiting though.