Things that annoy the fuck outta me right now:
When actions clearly speak differently than your words....
Do you think I am fucking stupid? Don’t tell me you want to have a relationship and then take sides over stupid bullshit without even asking me what happened. That tells me you are FULL OF SHIT. Annnd don’t tell me you are “keeping it from me for my benefit,” when you know damn well you just don't want want me to tell you how you fucked up when you were warned repeatedly. I mean come on, you fuck shit up BIG TIME, and call me bitching? WTF do you want me to do about it? You broke it, now you fix it.
When parents put their kids on leashes....
IDGAS that you connect it to a fuzzy monkey or a puppy dog. You are making your kid look stupid and you make yourself look like a lazy douche. Conversation goes like this:
A - “S, I’m gonna buy you a leash for your kid,” hahahahaha.
L - “I will fucking stab you. Those are for lazy ass stupid parents.” *Insert very angry face here.
N - “I used one. It taught my kid to sit, and stay. It taught him his boundaries.”
L - “WTF is he a dog?!?” *Insert you are a douche bag look here.
This was a real conversation...a real fucking stupid conversation. People please for the love of God quit having kids and being lazy derelicts. Don’t put your kid in a leash and don’t put them in a huge ass dog cage in your front yard. Don’t you know the whole neighborhood is talking about you?
When people are famous for absolutely dick....
Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, Brody Jenner, anyone from a reality series (Big brother, 16 and Pregnant, and of those show with the people who have 854 fucking kids) SO FUCKING ANNOYING!
People in the store who respond with their life story when the cashier is just being polite...
“Hi ma’am, how is your day?”
“Well I live 45 minutes from here but it was such a nice day I decided to drive out her to pick up some things. I only do it once or twice a month. I always spend too much, even when I come with a list. Did you know there is alot going on in town today? I was thinking about going out to one of the fairs or maybe the book store. There is an author there you know”
No, IDK and I don't care. Quit looking at me and trying to engage me in this stupid ass conversation. I smiled at you what more do you want from me? You are finished checking out....move the fuck on. It is my turn now. I am all for being polite and small talk but no one wants to hear your life story. STFU and leave. Go do something outside since it is soooo nice. Go do something in town since there is soooo much going on....just get the hell out of my way.
Thank you for listening to this rave. I am sure all of you have experienced some version of these things. For that I am sorry. In a perfect world we could vote idiots to their own planet and only the best people would procreate. Alas, we have to hope that survival of the fittest works out somehow.
The moving of the idiots to their own planet happened in Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. They called it Earth.
ReplyDeleteBwaaahahahaha! I assume that is a book? I haven't read it but it sounds about right. Makes me sad when I think about it, I always thought I was better than the idiots...siiiigh :)
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