Today we will be visiting fake people...
First up is the douche bag in baby Gap....Tell me why you are pretending we are friends? Last time I saw you, you wanted to mean mug me and look as if you were gonna beat my ass (and you a grown man) apparently because I don’t speak to the mutual friend we had. She made her bed. Let her lie in it. Today however, you want to ask me how I have been and how our mutual friend is...how the hell should I know? I haven’t talk to the bia in two years. The more important question is are you bipolar or just retarded? Since we were never friends in the first place, and I only acknowledged you because she always talked to you. So lets just move on to the next phase of this “relationship” and do the head nod if we see each other in public...K, thanks.
Next...my “friends” on FB. Ooooh so much to say there. You know what I love about FB? Finding people you haven’t seen since high school, or friends, or family you have lost contact with but wish you hadn’t. There are actually people that I have caught up with that really make FB worth it for me. People I was separated from but shouldn’t have been. Family I haven’t seen since I was a teenager. People I love. Plus, since I live here with the Bumpkins, it is nice to get news and find out what the happenings are back home. But then there is the flip side. Seeing the ones that treated you like shit, and now are complete wastes of space or the ones who were thin and had money, so they were obviously better than you, but now they are fat ass hoosiers. I love it. It makes my day. But the best are the ones you find who go on and on about how they missed you and can’t wait to see you. So you make plans (which for me is a big deal. I live 12 hours from home. I get limited time when I am there, so when I make plans with you I am missing out on something with someone else) and then the time comes to go to lunch, or hang out, whatever. I call you and you don’t answer??? WTF??? I mean really, all that BS about wanting to meet my kids and me meet yours, all the phone calls, and then you have the nerve to not answer? You are a grade A douche. Oh but as soon as I get back to Bumpkinville you want to like my statuses and comment on my photos.....ummm can you say DELETE????
On to the next...the FB Jesus hypocrites. You know them. We all have them as “friends”. The ones that preach and put up their Bible verses. Praise God for everything in their status. Tell you to pray for what you need and God will provide and more word vomit. BUT THEN...the next post is about how much they drank or how much weed they just smoked. They post pics of themselves drunk off their asses, pics of themselves doing perverted things, and pics of themselves with blunts (not that I have a problem with drinking, smoking, or being a pervert. I like both drinking and being a pervert, at the same time, a lot! I just don’t put it out for the world to see). Or the ones you know without a doubt are cheating on their spouse. I also like those who preach but their actions are so contrary to everything they say. Are you kidding? I just don’t get it. Keep in mind I definitely believe in God, heaven and hell. However, I do not preach one thing and have my actions say something totally different about me. I know my flaws and my faults. I half ass work on them sometimes but pray every night before bed. Am I perfect? Not a chance but I am also definitely not a hypocrite.
I could go on about the “frenemies” I have made here in Bumpkinville but I will save that for a day when I run into one of them and they piss me off....
Till next time, I leave you with a quote I feel pertains....
Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another. ~Homer
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